एक गुफा चाहिए

या चाहिए एक कुआ

गहरा और काला

खोखला

एक सन्नाटा चाहिए

या चाहिए एक आवाज़

एक कंधा चाहिए

या चाहिए एक गुलदस्ता

खास और बेहिसाब

बेवजह

एक बुखाार चाहिए 

या चाहिए इतमेणान

A clean slate
so clean
that I'm afraid to paint

But 
I am not even an artist
and 
this is not even my canvas.

you are
filled to the brim
maybe
overflowing with love
I am
a vessel bottomless 
there is nothing you can do about

until
you too feel empty
you too need
not me
and I still breathe
hollow

and we love repeat 
although
we'll look elsewhere
because

killed each other 
we have
spilled each other's 
coffee

that had not bean bitter
in the first place
but was too sweet 
in fact

order another one 
we could
now that
i realize how vacant is my stomach
today
to pass time

postpone
maybe tomorrow
not yet
perhaps
how about
later
tonight
let's contemplate
instead
formulate
a plan b
just in case
accidents
can't be embraced
postpone
not yet
not now
i close my eyes
i shut my ears
and wait
simply
for what 
i know not
postpone however
postpone nevertheless
don't nag
my heart is afraid
hyper also
the time is off
my mind is off
it is off
often
because
of what
i know not
postpone
this thought as well
my mood is off
off-center
off the grid
cut off.

The heart wanders

and trespasses

into territory 

forbidden

Signs of welcome 

there aren't any

Should the heart 

Stop?

or should it skip a beat

and

keep skipping beats

on repeat...

The vanishing act

When each day

gets consumed

like a pattern

I often go off the grid

to reclaim 

my independence

that has been 

under habitual siege

be mindful however

of this vanishing act

lest it be

a masked routine.